2 Parts Exhaustion, 1 Part Retrospect

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

There was a time, long long ago, where I would actually use the kitchen. 
And I made things. Lots of things. Like this cake. 

That time has temporarily been put to rest seeing as the thought of washing a dish now brings me close to tears. 
Nothing (I tell you, NOTHING) seems at all worth the effort of cooking. 

Seriously, I am giving myself major high fives over here for the new garbage bag and the loaded dishwasher. 
Small victories, right?

And now it's time to do a little catch-up.
The past couple months have consisted of the following:

 Our 1-Year Anniversary (hence the cake)
 Basketball injury for Josh, resulting in surgery and a 3 month recovery
 A weekend of surgery recovery, combined with throwing a bridal shower, babysitting a 6-year old with the flu and realizing just how truly, very pregnant I'd become
 Wedding preparations for Josh's cousin's reception
Stairs. Lots and lots of stairs.
Busted car radiator and efforts to replace it by ourselves (still in progress)
Josh's sweet sister coming home from her 18-month mission!
And leaving 3 days later for BYU :(
Watching my feet fluctuate between bulbous and elephant-like
Choosing career paths and correlating grad schools to apply to for next Fall
Fun new design projects
Complete indulgence at the Minnesota State Fair- chocolate dipped fried cheesecake on a stick, anyone?
Having my first proud mama moment at my midwife appt when she told me that baby girl had switched positions and gone head down in preparation for delivery!
Playing the "what if I went into labor right NOW?" game with myself
Spending as much quality time as I can with Josh

Needless to say it has been quite the summer, and I'm thinking that the Fall and I are going to get along splendidly this year. 
Amidst all of the hubbub lately, I have been really prone to looking back as we close the chapter of our first year and open this new one, beginning with the arrival of our sweet girl. 

This is a picture of us at a friend's wedding a year ago, just 2 weeks fresh from the altar.

We talked the other day about those first few weeks of marriage- being dirt poor, driving all over the country, and coming home to an apartment in desperate need of repairs. 
We really had so many adventures that I love looking back on. 

And now it's been a year since then and we can't even believe how much change life has brought us in such a short amount of time. 
But I always want to remember, in the midst of all the busy, crazy and new, how much fun and happiness I have with this person and our life together. 

I don't know that I can say there's nothing I would change about it, because I can definitely think of a few purchases made and arguments had that seem pretty silly now. But I am just so glad for the the many moments whispered to my heart that say, 
"And this is why you married him."

A sweet answer like that to an un-asked question is one of my favorite parts of being married. 
The small moments that culminate and eventually overwhelm you when you're not expecting it. 

I'm just happy to have more years and moments to look forward to. 

All About You

Friday, July 11, 2014

This bumpdate is for you, little girl.

We're almost 3/4 of the way through this little journey and we are 
just so happy that you're still growing and moving non-stop.

I never want to blame bad memory, or the fact that I'll have other kids and other pregnancies crowding my brain as a reason why I can't remember the details of our short and sweet time spent together like this. So here are some answers to questions you might ask me when you become a little one and some details that I want to remember....

Where Were You When You Found Out You Were Pregnant?: 
In the bathroom of our very first apartment. I took the test without telling your Dad first because we'd agreed to wait out the weekend before we found out... but I couldn't wait!

What Was Your First Thought When You Found Out?: 
It wasn't so much a thought as much as disbelief and amazement. And lots of happiness. 
People get kind of funny when something incredible happens, and our reaction was to laugh lots, hug lots, and stare at each other with really big eyes.

Did You Think You Were Pregnant Before You Knew?: 
Yes. I am not a napping person, and I had started to take 2 or 3 hour naps, no problem. 
And shed tears over Wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches on Fast Sunday. 

What Were Some of The First Names You Thought of For Me?: 
Grace, Audrey and Sienna were some that we liked. Now we've got it narrowed down to two and are waiting to meet you before we choose!

When Do I Move Most?: 
When I'm lounging about or taking walking breaks in Target ;) I've heard that you and most other babies spend lots of time sleeping while mom's are up and moving. Which is very thoughtful seeing as walking around and such is becoming quite the chore lately..

Have You Ever Been Scared or Nervous While Pregnant?: 
There was a small period of time where we went what seemed like forever without getting to go see you on an ultrasound or listen to your heart beat. Plus you hadn't started moving very much yet around the time they say is 'average' to feel movement. But when we did get in to the doctor you looked perfect, your heart was strong, and you've been moving like nutso for a few good weeks now. 

Have I Done Anything Funny?: 
Well there was that one time that you were in a yoga pose in my belly for who knows how long. 
You seemed to be very comfortable with having your feet right in front of your face. Silly girl. 

What Do You/ I Crave?: 
You are a spicy food craver! Since being pregnant I've managed to boost up my tolerance of spicy food quiiiiite a bit. You also love big green salads, pineapple, and the occasional steak. I couldn't eat more than a 9 oz. before... but I think I can out-eat your Dad in the red meat department now ;) The craziest thing I have craved was a big juicy pickle and some raspberry lemonade, at the same time. 

Do You Get Sick a Lot?: 
I was very sick for the first 3-4 months, but then I think we started to mellow out a bit and not have to avoid the kitchen so much. (Your Dad did lots of cooking and dishes during those months.)

What's Your Favorite Thing About Being Pregnant?:
You are my most favorite thing. Other than the first few months this has been, I think, a relatively easy pregnancy and I have just had so much fun watching you get big and feeling you move and imagining your little personality. Especially when you move right under where my hand has been resting on my belly- those little high fives (or foot fives...) are pretty incredible. 
Sometimes I catch your Dad staring at my belly and smiling to himself- 
he's so excited to meet you, baby. 

Keep growing, little girl. 

Family and the Fourth

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Josh made an observation about my demeanor the other day that has really stuck with me and made me think about how blessed we've been and our current situation.

"You are your happiest self, but all the time."

And I feel very much like my happiest self, all the time.

The last couple of months in Rexburg were rough. They were rough on my body, they were rough on my mind, and they were rough on mine and Josh's relationship. I was on the very sick side for the first trimester of my pregnancy, felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and watched my productivity level go from an average 7.5 to a 3- all while working a very high-demand job and trying to finish the semester to get my degree. 

Eventually it just became a constant spiral of feeling negative all the time- holding myself to standards I couldn't meet, yet working myself into the ground, and constantly worrying, "What am I going to do?" 

Then we got to Minnesota. 

And I began to feel lighter.

I stopped feeling so much pressure and weight, and decided that I could afford to give myself a little bit of a break. And that this short amount of time we have before baby girl gets here is precious- not because of her absence necessarily, but in terms of preparation. I want to make sure I put as much effort as possible into preparing myself for motherhood (as much as you can prepare yourself for something you've never experienced before, and can't really fully anticipate how it will change your life.)

Since being here, one of the things that I feel most grateful for is Josh's family and extended family. 
They are a wonderful group of people who have been so loving and accepting of me, and taught me a lot about what is important in life and in families.

Being able to spend so much time with them, soaking up every ounce of summer, and have so much support has made me appreciate my own family that much more (and miss them like crazy) and look forward to the addition being made to mine and Josh's family. 

It's just happiness really.

And so, here are some pictures of time spent with the family and our super fun 4th of July that we spent with them.

Josh's Grandma, Barbara and Great Grandbaby, Juniper.

Just some fun family time on Sunday at Grandma's after dinner.

The ONLY bad thing about 4th of July was experiencing what it's like to be producing 2x the amount of blood as a normal human being in a state that considers the mosquito to be it's state bird.

6 bites on one foot.

But everything else made up for that!

Swimming, BBQ, fireworks from Wisconsin, homemade ice cream...

And cakes made into the shape of hamburgers.

What's more American than that?

This boy and artillery shells...

I had no idea.

It was a wonderful 4th of July! 

Fun fact: It's our last time celebrating a holiday (that's not labor day) before baby girl is here.


Bumpdate- 27 weeks

Friday, June 27, 2014

A longer-than-normal update since I haven't documented in almost a month.

I swear I grew a good 2 inches horizontally in about a week.

Still loving the tunic dress-leggings combo.

My good friend, Andrea, who just had her little boy this past week, recommended a store for baby things called Once Upon A Child. It's like Plato's Closet, but for kids.

And. It. Is. Bad. News. 

Baby Gap clothes and the most adorable other little get ups for 1-6 dollars?! 

Yes, please.

My baby wardrobe went from nearly nonexistent to excessive in about a week.
Don't feel bad about it one bit.

Now I have to share this fun little quirk from my last time at the ultrasound tech.
When my little girl popped up on screen, this is what I saw. 

Yes, those are her feet touching her forehead.

She's just practicing her yoga, it's fine.

I was a little nervous though and asked the technician if it's normal/ safe for her to be positioned like that. 
She assured me it was totally fine.... so, yeah.

How far along? 27 weeks (on Sunday)
Total weight gain/loss: 20 lbs
Maternity clothes: I bought some awesome dark green pants that just have an elastic band and tie at the waist. I have a hard time not reaching for them everyday. I haven't really bought a ton of 'maternity clothes' though- just extra blousy shirts.
Gender: Girl 
Stretch marks: No belly marks... yet!
Sleep: Like a log. But only on my side (lower back has started to sore up real nice) and always woken up in the morning by a pretty rhythmic set of kicks and punches :) 
Most interesting interaction: Two gems from the past few weeks:

- In the Mall of America, after holding the elevator open for a group of very loud rambunctious ladies, the elevator got eerily quiet while it traveled until one of them looks at me and says, "....Pregnant?" 
As I look over my protruding belly, "Well if I'm not there's something really wrong with me." 

- While walking out of my gym a lady at the front desk looked at me and said, "You ready?"
I said "Well yeah, but I'm fine with waiting the 3-ish more months till she gets here." 

Homegirl's eyes seriously bulged. 

As in, 'You mean you're not about two seconds away from delivering right here in this 
Lifetime Fitness lobby?' 
I know, I know. I'm large. Thank you. Now please take care of those big eyes before they jump out of your head.

Best moment of the week: Josh and I won't even fully be awake yet when I start feeling kicks, so I just pull his hand over and rest it on my tummy to watch him wake up to the feeling of her moving. 
Movement: I'm impressed at how I will simultaneously feel a punch/kick on two opposite sides of my belly at the same time. 
Makes me feel best: Getting heavy doses of sunshine.
Hardest task: Holy I can't bend over for the next 3 months. 
Food cravings: Large amounts of everything. Especially Chipotle. Like, for every meal.
Most looking forward to: Really beginning to get our space set up for baby girls arrival. I have big plans for making the most out of our little space!
Most nervous about: Honestly, I have very few nerves right now. I've been hearing more lately about the strain of a newborn on a marriage, so I'm trying to mentally prepare for that and talk with Josh about it.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Like clockwork I have morning sickness ONCE a week. 
Are you showing? Oh yes. 
Belly button: Flat as a pancake.
Happy or Moody: Very happy! Baby girl is healthy, and I'm honestly starting to feel the excitement kick in. Looking at her little clothes every day helps.
Weekly Wisdom: First- always ask for a 3D ultrasound! Second: I've found it to be somewhat rewarding to hold myself to slightly higher expectations than other people hold me to. I have lots of sweet people around me who want to make sure I don't push myself too hard, and I definitely keep it in check but I feel very energized at making choices like walking vs driving to the farmer's market, and pushing myself just a bit further to finish all of the chores for the day. It's good to take it easy and not go past your limits, but don't form a bubble of idleness around yourself. Getting up and moving (waddling) really helps keep up the energy levels.

I feel content with waiting 3 more months, but I'm getting increasingly excited to meet this little one.

I already think she's the greatest.

Little Nothings

Friday, May 30, 2014

Pregnant me cracks herself up. 

In the past 48 hours I have had 4 very significant lapses in judgment and coherence that caused me to spill large amounts of water everywhere. 

1. Josh hands me a cup full of water in the middle of the night to soothe my sore throat- not two seconds after he hands it to me while I'm lying flat in bed, I fall asleep, my hand holding the cup goes limp and the water seeps all over my chest, pillow, back, sheets and hair. I was so disoriented I kind of just started whimpering while Josh ran to get some towels.

2. The very next day I went out in the backyard to sit and lounge on one of the plush patio chairs and read my book. Not a problem, except I forgot that the day before the clouds had opened wide to pour several inches of rain water right into the plushiness of my chair... 
Proceeded to laugh out loud to no one, and go inside to change my pants.

3. Faulty water bottle = face, chest and shirt full of water

Pregnant me forgot the 4th, but I promise it was a doozie. 

Oh my, Friday. You are a beautiful sight. 

The air conditioning has been on the fritz in our home for (coming on) two weeks now and at the same time I am re-learning all about the wonders of humidity. This weekend I just want to be near a body of water as much as humanly possible. 

I think I could actually be a person that doesn't despise humidity, but I'd like to find out perhaps at a time when my body isn't already naturally swelling...

Humidity and all though, I'm so excited for summer. Apart from those couple of holiday months it is my FAVORITE time of year. I hope we take the time to go and explore some of the lakes and bike trails, spend lots of evenings outside, host at least one BBQ, check out the local and city farmers markets, and just enjoy this beautiful time. 

And I'm not gonna lie, I'm weirdly excited to check out the Minnesota State Fair.
Josh has been bragging to me that it's the biggest state fair in the U.S., but frankly I would just be going to check out all the crazy fair-food. I mean, that's everyone's favorite part anyway, right?

I thought so.